


Blue and Yellow

by orphan_account



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Soppy, major fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 06:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5995501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Following on from the scene where Aaron finds out his mum is with Gordon and punches the door. He goes up to his room and looks at the scars on his stomach- but what if something stopped him from harming again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue and Yellow

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "Blue and Yellow" by the used. I literally just listened to the song on repeat while writing., so I apologise for the soppiness and cheesiness of this one :)

His eyes bore into the reflection in front of him- the scars, the memories that they held under the raised skin. The way it made him forget, if just for a moment, everything that made him wish Adam had never found him at the garage that day. He drew himself away and perched himself on the edge of his bed. A million thoughts racing through his head but one stood out above the rest- Robert. Everything he had put Aaron through, the misery, the guilt, it would be enough to make any sane person hate him. But the way Robert made him feel when they were alone pushed away any resentment he should have had for the man. It wasn't just the sex and the passion they had, it was the way Robert stopped him from feeling ashamed of himself. It was the connection they seemed to have, deep down. They knew how each other were feeling, how to deal with their emotions and what would calm them both down. It was a feeling Aaron had never had before- someone knowing him completely to the core.

He stood, beginning to pace as images of Robert began to flood into his head, thick and fast. His voice was burning his ears, and not the cocky, self assured tone Robert would take with other people. The soft, caring and concerned voice that was reserved for their brief, flickering moments together. The way he expressed himself openly, without a front.

_"I Love you and I cant watch you suffer."_

The sincerity behind those words helped Aaron live more than anyone would ever understand. The way his brow furrowed with concern and at that moment, Robert was completely open. Uncensored. The Robert Aaron had fallen in love with, with no boundaries. He got to his feet and started pacing the room. He knew that running back to Robert was a bad idea, despite how he felt. It was as if they were two chemicals and mixing them together created something toxic, something that brought destruction to anything and anyone close. Katie, paddy, even Chrissie suffered because of their feelings. But staying apart from Robert was tearing him up, among other things. No one else understood what he was going for. It was as if people had given up trying, no matter how much they insisted they cared. Despite the destruction, Robert was always there. When he felt low, he was there. When he broke his body down with exhaustion, Robert was there.

When nobody else saw the horror in Aarons face at seeing his dad barge back into his life, Robert was there.

Aaron was totally lost in his thoughts, but his body had already grabbed his hoodie and keys, and was all but running out of the pub. He found himself at Adam and Victorias house, where Robert was staying. He knew the couple were both out working and Robert's lack of friends and work meant he was bound to be at home. Aarons hand was shaking as he knocked on the door and he suddenly realised what he was doing, where he was. He could feel his pulse vibrating through his body, almost wishing that Robert was out and he could run away and let everything out the only way he truly knew how.

He wasn't given the chance to run. Robert appeared at the door- blonde hair messy with no reason to properly groom himself, his eyes tired from lack of any real sleep. But his expression was twisted with shock, confusion and an underlay of relief. No words were said- none were needed. Robert moved aside to let Aaron in, pushing the door shut gently behind him. 

They stood in silence for what felt like a lifetime. Aaron kept his back turned to hide his face. He was still desperately trying to think of what to say, what to do, but he knew the minute Robert saw his face- the second their eyes met properly, all his barriers would be diminished. He would be open and vulnerable, something Aaron never felt comfortable being.

Robert was the first to break the silence, just with a whisper of Aarons name. Their connection was built so solidly that Robert was sure they were thinking and feeling the same emotions and thoughts. They were in each others heads and they were both fully aware of it. Taking a breath, Aaron finally turned to face him but kept his head low. His eyes were brimming with tears and he wasn't ready to fall apart, not yet. His hands were shaking as nerves took over his body. Robert knew. He could feel Aarons emotions radiating from the younger mans body like the sun shining down on a sweltering summer day. He took a step closer, almost testing the boundaries.

"I was never looking for this," Aaron finally spoke, his voice gravelly and quiet, "I never wanted any of this."

He lifted his head and Robert finally saw the true extent of the pain and torment he had put his lover through. He saw it rolling down his cheeks and burning at him through soft, blue eyes. He watched Aarons lips as he began to bear his soul. "But I cant do this without you."

That was all Robert needed to let himself go. He pulled Aaron into his arms, embracing him like he was scared he would disappear if he let go. Aarons shaking hands found themselves gripping onto Roberts jumper and he felt all of his problems and pain being erased by Roberts touch. His arms, his smell, the way he whispered "I love you, Aaron" into the crook of his neck, it made him feel alive again.

Aaron shifted so they were face to face, foreheads pressed gently against each other as their eyes searched each others. They were both shaking now, the raw emotion between them was filling the room and in that moment, nothing else mattered, or even existed. Roberts hand found its way to Aarons cheek and his thumb tenderly wiped at his tears. 

"Come with me," Robert breathed the words out softly and took Aarons hand. He lead him up the stairs to his bedroom and closed the door. He took him to the bed and they both laid on their sides, face to face as their arms found themselves wrapped around each other again.

"I don't.." Aaron spoke nervously, his voice shaking slightly.

"Not that." Roberts lips curved into a small smile at Aarons thoughts. "I just want to be here. With you."

That was all Robert wanted. Of course he missed being with Aaron intimately. He missed the electricity as their bare torsos touched, bodies moving together in unison as they became whole. But tonight wasn't about that. It was just about being there for each other. Being in each others arms again- a dream Robert had every night since they were last together.

They laid in bed for a few hours, holding each other, their lips occasionally meeting in soft, loving kisses as their tongues explored almost forgotten territory. Their hands wandering, but never too far. They both knew they could wait. The feeling of being there in each others arms was enough for tonight.

"Don't you have anything else to do?" Robert spoke softly, his eyes taking in all of Aarons features and committing them to memory, just in case this was all just a dream. Aaron smiled at the question and ran his hand through Roberts messy hair. They pressed their foreheads together again, reveling in any connection their bodies made.

"I'd rather waste my time with you."


End file.
